So, as my dear travel companion has explained, what you have on your hands here are a couple women with a word or two for some folks out there. We are afterall, at our essence, women of the strongly worded letter. So that we get it out of our system and stop dreaming about the many postcards we would send if we had someone to send them to, it seemed best to get the message out right here, right now. So here goes...
Dear Lonely Planet,
Your function and purpose in life, your calling as it may be, is to guide us through lands unknown. Putting street names on your maps would help. A lot.
Two ex-buyers of Lonely Planet Guides
Dear People’s Republic of China,
Stop spitting. No body has that much phlegm.
She who cringes at every hauking
Dear Beijing Olympics 2008 Planning Committee,
There's a phrase in english that says one is “in over their heads” when they have committed to something that they cannot possible complete. This my friends, is exactly where you stand. It's cute that you have real people who sell you little paper tickets to use at the subway and yet more ladies to stand and take them, but having experienced the kind of chaos and backup that this causes when a little drizzle drives Beijingers underground, I can tell you that you're going to have quite a situation on your hands. Good luck with that.
Wishing you the best,
Concerned wanna-be advisors to the Beijing Olympics Planning Committee
Dear Unattractive Socially Akward Western Man with Beautiful Asian Girlfriend,
One day she will learn enough english to know what kind of mess she’s gotten herself into. She may not leave you, she may not even tell you, but you can bet she will resent you for it. I'd watch what she puts in your food if I were you.
Women of the West
Dear Ming Dynasty,
I like what you’ve done with the place.